Tips and tricks for online Dating in the Netherlands

Tips and tricks for online Dating in the Netherlands

February 15, 2021

And then suddenly you are a member of a dating site and then you see a nice person ... what to do? Good contact on a dating site is essential and of course we do not want to prescribe you how to make contact with other members. We do want to give some important general tips and specific advice that are useful.
Respond to someone's profile in a personal way. Talk to someone by his or her profile name. The salutation should not be empty or very general. So not "Hi" or "Hello", but "Hi ..." or "Hello ....". Compose a unique message per profile, do not use a shotgun approach. The shot-shot approach is a way of mailing that you sometimes see in which people compose a general mail and send it to dozens of people. Such an email is not personal and that is clearly visible. This approach usually yields nothing. In your email, mention at least 1 subject that appeals to you from the profile of the person you are emailing. Most people, just like in real life, like to build up the bond slowly. Becoming intimate too quickly, for example by asking very direct intimate questions in the first email or ending with kisses or hugs is too much of a good thing for many people. That usually backfires. You don't know them at all, so start by asking more general questions or introducing yourself. Do not send a very long story about yourself in your first message. Tell something about yourself, but avoid too long stories. Show interest in the other person, don't just write too much about yourself. Be short and sweet.

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How do you recognize dating abuse?

How do you actually recognize dating cam and abuse on a dating site? Of course, no one wants to be misled and no one wants to pay for something that is of no use to them. Nobody wants to be ripped off. So, how do you avoid this scam / deception? There are a number of things that are important to keep in mind when you are active on a dating site. We list them below with the explanation and the appropriate warnings.

  • Too good to be true? Then it usually is!
  • Do you have doubts about the authenticity or correctness of a profile? Go on your good feeling, usually you are good. When in doubt, don't!
  • The profile picture of the profile you are visiting is a picture of a very beautiful woman. Often the woman sits on a bed or adopts a willing posture. Such pictures are a sign that it is probably not right. Someone who has a profile on a normal dating site for a normal reason does not post a photo that makes him or her appear defiant and willing. You can see an example of such a photo on the right.
  • The desired search age of the person is a huge range. Scammers often post a profile of a young lady between 28 and 38 years old who then looks for men between the ages of 30 and 90. A 'real' woman of around 30 will usually not be looking for men over 40. A scammer does not matter of course. In fact, the scammer hopes that men over 40 think: Wow, I take the lottery ticket, a beautiful young woman looking for an older man again, if it seems too good to be true then it is usually that too.
  • Profile text in English. On a Dutch dating site it is illogical for a Dutch person to write a profile text in English. Only in a few cases can this be correct. For example, if someone has come to live in the Netherlands and indicates this in the profile. In that case, an English text can be fair. But beware, an English-language profile is usually a reason to be extra careful.
  • Profile name contains the name Elena or Helena or Lover or similar terms. For example, if Elena1234 is chosen for the profile name, it is usually a scammer. Elena or Helena is a Polish or Russian name and is widely used by scam coming from those countries. Scammers also often use terms such as Lover or Loving or Caring or similar.
  • The profile text is written in bad Dutch and calls for marriage or long-term relationship. In this case we mean that the profile text is translated from language xyz to Dutch. Many scammers translate promotional text in their own language into Dutch via Google Translate. We do not call for marriage in the Netherlands, so that is almost always scam. Someone can express the wish for a relationship or a long-term serious relationship, but then it must be written in a normal way as a Dutch person would. A language error more or less is no reason for doubt, unfortunately a lot of people write with a lot of language errors.
  • Loving and Caring in the profile text. If a profile text contains the words Loving and Caring, it is almost certainly a scam!
  • An initially Dutch-looking dating profile turns out to be someone who does not live in the Netherlands. That is usually not correct! The profile looks good, but during your email contact it appears that the person in question writes Dutch poorly and does not appear to live in the Netherlands at all. This is typically a situation of deception.
  • US Army soldiers are mostly scam. If someone claims to be an American soldier, it is usually scam.
  • Neat man of respectable age from America. Lately we have seen a lot of scam from aged men seeking a woman by age. The man in question indicates that he is from America and that distance is not a problem for him. If you read these types of notifications in a profile or in a received email, it is usually scam.
  • Pay attention to the e-mail address if you email someone outside the site. If it is an email address with an extension .pl or .ru or at least different from .nl, .be or .com then you should already be alert. Then check carefully to which country the extension belongs.
  • The demand for money. The scammer is after your money. He or she will quickly ask for money after some contact. The scammer does this by indicating that he or she would like to come to you, but has no money for this. The question is then to transfer a few hundred euros so that he or she can come to you by plane. NEVER do this! Never pay for anything without seeing the person alive.
  • Don't keep paying, even after contact. Sometimes the scam goes very far, literally and figuratively. You will be invited to country xyz and after a nice contact you will return to the Netherlands. You are in love and you keep in touch. It happens all too often that the woman (usually women) in question asks and keeps asking for money. It often ends with just 1 contact and the woman in question does not want (or cannot) come to the Netherlands. The woman in question keeps you on a leash and keeps trying to get money from you. So DO NOT pay!
  • As a last point, we would like to indicate the following to you. Be honest and real about interacting with a particular person and about yourself. If you are a little older yourself and you have an above average good looking lady who is very interested in you then you should have all your doubts about this.

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Dating Tips

Nevertheless, while getting there, you should be mindful of these international dating tips that can help you through any successful romantic encounter:

  1. Physical Contact
    Don't get too close physically to the other person on a first date. Don't break the personal space or the arm's length until the other person gives you a clear green light.
  2. How to Dress
    Dress nicely, in a smart casual manner that says you're both comfortable (not too tight nor too large) and stylish (but you didn't try too hard).
  3. Don't Lose Control
    Don't, under any circumstances, get drunk. Having a glass or two can make you more relaxed and open and help you bond more easily, but drinking a glass too much can turn all that into a dating disaster.
  4. Prepare to Pay for Your Own
    Go Dutch even when you're not in Amsterdam and be prepared to pay for your part, without assuming the other will take care of the bill.
  5. Stay in Touch
    Call or text the next day if you liked that person, and you want to see him/her again. And don't get a guilty conscience if you don't, because first date casualties are a common thing (almost) anywhere in the world. ~ Dating hoger opgeleiden

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